Lost and soft

 Among all the stories they told us

Among all the plan we made for us

What is in front of us now?

What is just in front of us?

I've cried all my tears out

I've danced the whole dance and more

kept spinning by myself

Hoping it's going to start playing again

What's in front of us now?

I dreamt about your eyes

and all your kisses in my face and my head

I can see the smile you had while looking at me when I cooked

I wanted it all, you know? I wanted it all.

But you didn't love me enough. You didn't love me.

It was so comfortable for you, it was so easy

Because I "planted" all my girders and "built" my roots

I drew all the lines to find you

I gave it all and you let me walk away without hesitation

What is in front of us now?

I don't wanna come back to that

besides keep holding onto you so tight

I don't wanna be in thar place again

besides wanting you so badly

I don't even know anymore what to expect

because I'm afraid you and that place are attached as hell

You cannot fight for me or maybe you don't want

doesn't make any difference now. 

It's all the same.

Our 23 kids running are fading away

Our past is vanishing.

Our future was just a mirage, my mirage.

What is in front for us now?

Broken-hearted three times in a row

 Babe,

You broke my heart. Deeply.

And you did it while I was 

living one of the most vulnerable moments of my entire life.

You broke my heart for not loving me back

You broke my heart for not caring.

You broke my heart for being such a selfish,

thinking only and only about you

that you couldn't take a moment

just a moment

just a little second of your self centred life

to look at me and see how deeply I needed you to be my support.

I told you many times

that I was there to be your partner

to be with you

to help you

to support you

to not let you down

But you were not able to do the same to me

Babe, you broke my heart

and I almost broke together with it.

I saw my pieces on the mirror, on the floor, on my inner

I saw the scars and the fragilities

I saw it. 

Babe you broke my heart

almost my soul.

But I'll not let me down.

I'll be here for me. With me.

I'll support me and help me.

I'll go through it.

I'll face my weaknesses and recover my pieces

Rebuild myself, rebuild my hope.

And somehow, stop caring about you,

Stop loving you.

And then, have my heart fresh and new.